To whoever is trying to hurt me in any way.
Only a few people know what hapened. The ones who dont know will always and always try to hurt me. Like i need it. I didnt tell to anyone what hapened in real cause i was ashamed. But now if i do, its to avoid being ashamed. People try to ashame me, but now i can say im proud of this story. Thats why im gonna tell you. The truth was only known by me and by this scumbag. Other people dont give a shit about it or believed the scumbag’s bullshit.
These last months have been quite hard for me. I should say these last years. I always believed in love and always thought that one day i will find someone who will love me as i will love him. Im naive, i know. Thats the reason why a lot of low people would hurt me.
This guy, this scumbag made me fell like shit for the last couple of years. I didnt think i would madly fall in love with a guy who lives in Turkey. Well, actually i only wanted to be loved. He was good looking, funny, a good dancer and knew which words he could tell me to get me. I was scared he wasnt honnest with me, i felt it but i so wanted to be happy with someone, i let myself go for it.
He cheated on me several times. He went with whatever with a pussy. The ugliest, the prettiest girls he could find. He fucked with them, didnt use any condom and switch off his cell in case i wanted to ring him while he was getting a blow job. As far as i know he cheated on me with :
- in 2006 between may and july a dutch, an irish a scottish, a turkish girls (i dont talk about the one night stands). He rang back all these girls telling them he missed them etc when he was supposed to be engaged with me. He fucked with a 35 years old belgian girl who got pregnant. He told her he was happy and he wanted to marry with her while he was supposed to be engaged with me. When the baby came, he told her he didnt think he was the father and didnt want to take care of it. Well, normal it costs money. The baby is almost two years old now and is called Raven. Why did he tell that? Because i found out he’s had a daughter. I was more interesting to him cause i had more money to give him. But one night he told me he was going to work and actually went to apologize about what he said and sleep with her again.
- so in 2007 the belgian woman who have his daughter. An english girl. A young irish girl. A disgusting swedish junky. A dutch girl. And a turkish girl whom hes married now.
All the years i’ve been with him he didnt share his money telling me he was poor. Which was true actually. But he took money from me and from another to buy some bikes, nice T shirts etc. At first he didnt ask me money, but he never paid for anything. I paid the rent, i paid the bills, i paid the drinks. I even brought him some nice perfumes or brand training shoes when i went back there to see him.
He tried to ask me money in 2006 telling he had bills and police problems but it didnt work with me. And we never talked about that again. He only helped me when i really ran off money and couldnt even eat. Why did i run off money? Because he was spending all what i saved. In France when i was working i couldnt eat or go out. All my money was for him. Sometimes he gave money to others with MY savings.
He really asked me money last year. He said he wanted to go to France to meet my parents (thank God i deeply in a small place in my heart knew he wasnt genuine and never intoduced him to my parents). I gave him 400 euros for stuff like passport and visas… That he used to buy his bike insurance. In winter he told me there was a turkish girl around him and that he was thinking about droping me to go with her. I started crying. He finally told me that he only loved me but i had to help him to get a visa and to marry with him. Otherwise he would break up. I gave him 700 euros for visa flight ticket etc. He used that money to get engaged to that girl two days after i left Kusadasi. the girl was waiting for him in Antalya in his uncle family (where i was two months before!) while i was with him in Kusadasi. They were all waiting for my money : his mother, sister, cousin, brothers, father, step-mother, grand mother, neighbors, friends…. They all knew that he was getting engaged to that girl and they were all happy about that. But they acted to me like nothing was hapening and they were happy to see me. They were all waiting for me to fly to France in order to organize the engagement party with my money.
Everybody just shut up! Every single guy or girl in Kusadasi knew what was going on. But they only shut up. Worse, some told me “ha you dont know how much he loves you” and blablabla. They were happy to help him ripping me off. None of them had a bit of respect to me although they didnt know me. Its just normal for them to ripp off a silly girl who just needed attention.
He beat me up. Several times. He almost sent me to the hospital. Sometimes i had a black eyes. Once i had the two eyes and the nose that were black. At new years (while his turkish girlfriend was wating for him secretly), he threw a bottle of juice at my face in the street in front of everyone. I knew it was bad but i stayed with him, cause i loved him.
He made me feel like shit. Like nobody will ever love me. When i told him ive been raped when i was younger, he simply didnt care about that. In a way he rapped me aswell cause when i didnt want sex he used some mental strategies to get it, and sometimes when i didnt want he just hit me. When i was about to find out about another grilfriend or when he saw someone as a threat (someone who can tell him what he was doing to me in fact), he used mental violence and made me feel guilty about everything. His other grilfriend was in the bar at the same time as me? He fought with me, telling me i was too jealous and i’d better wait for him at home cause otherwise we would fight cause his job needed to be a bit flirty with the girls. He was out with someone? He didnt allow me to go outside, telling he was jealous. Just to prevent me from meeting him randomly in a bar. Everybody knew that. Everybody saw him with these women whil i was at home. And everybody just shut up. I didnt know what to do but at the end of the day i just listened to him even if i knew something wrong was going on.
When he broke up with me, he lied to me, inventing another girl who he used to be married with a long time ago. He told me this girl was his family and as the visa thingie didnt work there was not much hope for him and me, so he would go back to her. I heard it was bullshit from one of his cousin. He told me all the truth. After i knew, people started telling me the truth. Well not all the truth as they all said they were sorry for me blablabla. Were they sorry for me, when i was blind and struggling with myself while he was fucking my money or another girl? No one cared.
When he broke up, i couldnt belive it. I felt myself like shit. I didnt eat for two weeks. The doctor told me i had to, cause otherwise i was going to fall into some anorexia, and maybe die. I was cappable to die for him. Other people tried to make me smile but it wasnt true. They knew i had some bad moments and they jumped on it. To fuck me, or to ripp me off one more time. Then they dropped me like shit. When i think that a few days before they told me that i didnt desserve to be treated like he treated me. And they did the same. Not as long as he did thank God.
Thats all. Its not a lot, you would tell me, there is worse. But i just cant accept the disrespect. I’ve been disrespected a lots of times. Ripped off, raped, beaten up. And this guy made me feel even more like shit. The worst is that he isnt the last one who wants to get some kind of things from me, with playing with my heart and my feelings.
He also told a lot of people he broke up with me cause ive been infidel to him. Which is also a big bullshit. I’ve never been so faithful and devoted to someone like i’ve been with him. But unluckily, people prefer believing his lies. Cause i just shutted up.
He tells everybody he is happy now. And i think he is. For me its injustice. Look who is happy and who isnt now? I hope one day it will just turn.
You, who is trying to hurt me. Just think. If im sometimes rude or have bad reactions, i have my reasons. I loose my temper because of the rage who keeps staying inside my heart and my mind.
This guy is called A. Q.
